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| This week, on The Banana Shake, influential Americans give advice to our children. |
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| Eat well and keep your brain alert so that |  |
| you can learn stuff from teachers |  |
| and get good grades |  |
| that will advance you to high school |  |
| where you can score high on your SAT's |  |
| this way you can get into a good college |  |
| that will land a job with health benefits |  |
| at a corporation |  |
| where you might meet your mate |  |
| online |  |
| and marry that special someone |  |
| so you can have children |  |
| and buy two cars |  |
| which you can drive to and from the mall |  |
| to purchase a television |  |
| and an iPod |  |
| and lots of stuff for your kids |  |
| and me |  |
| and when work gets you down |  |
| make sure to sleep 8 hours a night |  |
| and then wake up bright and early |  |
| and remember, always stay informed |  |
| so as to maintain awareness of your freedom |  |
| and pay attention to me, you little shits!!! |  |
| and may you retire in peace |  |
| in the name of Christ our Lord |  |
| Amen. |  |
www.tomlombardi.org ARCHIVED FLOGS Week #1: The Polar Ice Caps & William Safire Week #2: James Frey's Royalties & Lindsay Lohan Week #3: The cowboys from Brokeback Mountain Week #4: Scarlett Johanssen's Naked Buttocks & Blizzard of '06 Week #5: The War in Iraq Week #6: The Seriousness With Which Crash Takes Itself Week #7: Richie "Old School" Aprile Week #8: A Public Service Announcement to America's Children Week #9: Mission Implausible:III Week #10: David Beckham's Cock Week #11: God Week #12 Lance Armstrong _______ |
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